


Everything

by Michie_the_artist



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fluff, It’s mostly me blathering on for a thousand words but there is some semblance of romance in there, M/M, May the Force Be With You, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Poe is whipped, Star Wars Day, Stormpilot, and very introspective also apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-23 20:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michie_the_artist/pseuds/Michie_the_artist
Summary: Poe reflects upon his life as he ponders the idea of soulmates and upon his time spent in the rebellion with Finn- his best friend, his love, his everything.





	Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii!!! HAPPY STAR WARS DAY! 
> 
> I hope you like this (very late) addition to the May the Fourth festivities and fun!

They say there’s a person for everyone- there are millions of peoples on single planets, imagine how many there are in solar systems, galaxies, the whole universe- but with the vast expanse of space, and the light-years upon light-years of distance between each star system, the chances of actually finding that one person seem infinitesimal. There are billions- maybe even trillions- of beings of in the universe that you will never speak to or come in contact with in your lifetime. What are the odds that your soulmate isn’t among those numbers? Infinitesimal. 

Such was Poe’s mentality when it came to the idea of soulmates and “the one”- _‘There are billions upon billions of beings in our universe and the idea that I’m only right for one of ‘em is the most depressing, ridiculous and unlikely piece of horseshit I’ve ever heard’_ \- as he rejected the notion not that he was unlovable entirely but that he was only meant to be loved by one. It just didn’t seem right. 

Over the course of his life, Poe had harmlessly wielded empty statements of love- an “I love you” or two which he never really meant. In the heat of the moment, he never let himself linger upon the dishonesty- people tell their partners this all the time without any real certainty about the truth of the statement. He would insist to others but mainly to himself that it was because it didn’t matter if you were with your soulmate, as long as they made you happy. But the happiness never lasted, even in the best of his relationships. That wasn’t why he kept himself from pondering the possibilities. 

The truth- buried so far deep inside it had been hidden from even Poe himself- was that Poe didn’t want to face the all-too-real reality in which not one of those people with whom he was previously involved was the one. That he would never get to experience true love, never get to say and mean the words “I love you”. That he would never find the one person who meant the world to him, who mattered more than himself; the person who was his everything. 

During his time in the rebellion, Poe let himself drift emotionally. He stopped looking for partners, stopped trying to get attached. Life was already short without the prospect of dying in an intergalactic war, and by throwing in that addend into the messy equation of his life, he was essentially saying “screw it all”- to normalcy, love, and a chance at happiness. There was no point in bringing in another person to share his emotional burden, not when he believed that every day in which he stepped into his X-wing was slated to be his last. 

Eventually, Poe came across a mission in which the odds of getting out alive were slim to none- heading straight into enemy territory for a vital recovery mission- and for once, he felt relief at the thought of not having to say many final goodbyes. As predicted, the mission nearly cost Poe his life; he was detained by the First Order. 

Everything seemed so final in that time period- his whole life, thirty years at the time, laid out in front of him- and he started to really come to terms with the idea that this was the end of the line. There, in the clutches of the enemies, enduring torture both physical and mental, he was staring down the end of that short ride. His engine was failing, his wings on fire. He needed rescuing. 

And indeed, just as unlikely as the odds of survival from this mission, rescue came in the form of him. A stormtrooper. But this stormtrooper was different from the others- he was caring, he was thoughtful, and in every sense of the word, human. He saw the injustice and risked his life to right it. And because of his bravery and compassion, Poe was given a second chance at life. He rescued Poe. FN-2187- Finn. 

Their meeting was one pressed on all sides by the imposing intergalactic conflict, and the very chance of it already so highly improbable- Poe was a rebel pilot and Finn was a First Order stormtrooper- that Poe didn’t have time in the moment of their escape to really think about his rescuer. But, with time, and their prolonged separation, Poe found that all he could think about was the stormtrooper who saved his life. FN-2187. Finn. 

And that, of course, led to their reunion being a little too friendly on Poe’s part- he barely knew the man and yet there he was running to him like they were lovers or something. But seeing that he was alive, and that he was thinking about him, too, and that he was wearing his jacket, it just stirred something inside that Poe had never known about before- this could be the infamous connection that he was supposedly waiting for- and that for one, scared him. But it also excited him beyond all belief. 

There was something to be said for the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, which Poe would learn as he and Finn were separated once more- Poe had been holding off First Order ships while Finn had been dueling with Kylo Ren who injured him- as Finn was recovering on the main resistance cruiser. During this period of separation, Poe’s mind reeled from the newfound discovery that he was actually affected by the state of Finn, who had yet to wake up nearly a week later. 

Poe had been in relationships where he was separated from his partner, and while he had felt longing and missed people before, the feeling he felt when Finn was in recovery made everything pale in comparison. Nothing else was like that gut-wrenching, sleep-interrupting feeling where the person who you had come to care for- maybe even love- couldn’t talk to you. Poe felt helpless- he had nothing to do but repair the jacket he lent to Finn like some housewife sitting with her comatose army-vet-husband who would never awaken. It was a very grim and unusual position for Poe to be in, grieving for a person who was neither dead nor really his. 

Of course, that changed rather quickly upon Finn’s grand awakening- it was quite a spectacle, he was wandering the halls in this clear bag with the tubes formerly supplying his fluids now poking out and leaking, practically naked, all the while calling for Poe. It was like the time did to Finn’s mind exactly what it had to Poe’s. Everything about the nature relationship changed from unlikely friends to something more, something deeper and more profound than words could explain. 

Over the next few months of time in the rebellion together, the friendship of Finn and Poe underwent a near seamless subtle transformation that manifested first in the form of their public interactions, from flirting during missions to finding ways to touch each other around the rebel base- sometimes Poe would sit on Finn’s lap during meetings because _‘dammit, there are no seats left’_ , or they would hold hands in the cockpit during long flights to far-off star systems. 

Slowly, Poe began to realize exactly how much Finn meant to him. He was more than a flight partner who would stay up with him during long flights to help him stay awake by just talking- god, Poe loved to watch him talk, the way his eyelashes fluttered against his skin as he closed his eyes, the way he smiled reminiscing about his flights with Han Solo, something Poe could only dream of- and he was more than a fellow rebel. He was more than his best friend. Finn was his person. His “one”. 

Becoming close friends with Finn, getting to know the man behind the stormtrooper mask, it opened Poe up to the possibility of letting people in, letting Finn in. Being with Finn made Poe feel like those odds of finding the right person had somehow switched because somehow, against everything else, Poe had found his “one”. Poe had found his soulmate. 

And even though the future was uncertain- the First Order was still alive and kicking, and although Poe had finally begun to “settle down” as Leia had put it, he was in no way retiring his helmet and X-wing- Poe found solace in the fact that no matter what, there was someone there for him, caring about him, missing him when he was away, and running to him when he returned. He found someone with whom he could lie in the middle of the night when everything was silent and still, and let his thoughts and feelings flow his lips like water from a tap, free and uncensored; he could be himself and wear his heart on his sleeve. 

No matter the situation, Poe had someone beside him whom he could turn to and squeeze their hand and know that they'd squeeze back to let him know that he’s going to be alright. He found someone to laugh with while in the face of death, to share inside jokes with, and to be serious with when it mattered the most. He found that with Finn, everything was a thousand times better- the conversations, the sleep, and the sex- and that he could say anything to him and have it be important. He had no need to throw out meaningless phrases of affection- every word was true. 

And that included- eventually, after nearly a year of being together- the words “I love you”, words that Poe never thought he’d ever say and mean. But Finn- with his deep laughs and gentle touches and warm energy that made Poe feel safe and happy and home- was someone who made every word feel authentic and true and raw and scary but safe and perfect. Poe couldn’t imagine being in love with anyone else, anyone better. 

Finn was it: he was the only person that Poe had to live for, the only reason that waking up and going to bed was so damn exciting because he was always there eagerly awaiting his return. Finn was the reason that Poe would make mental notes of the most exciting parts of his day, because _‘goddammit if Finn doesn’t die when he hears what General Leia said to that one force commander today’_. Finn was Poe’s soulmate, without a doubt; he was Poe’s world, his best friend, his love. His everything.

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone was wondering, yes, the title is from Ariana Grande's song “My Everything”. Predictable person is predictable. I was listening to Brie Larson's cover of the song on repeat all morning (again, predictable) and was inspired to make this my May the 4th contribution. {BTW you can hear her cover of the song on her IG story or, if you don't have an insta, you can view it on my Tumblr [@michietheartist](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/michiethearist) (shameless plug lol) srsly its so good I recommend listening to her sing it like a billion times bc it will extend your lifetime by about 10 years} 
> 
> I’m really glad that I was able to do something today, even if it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to and even if it’s hella late. Hopefully you enjoyed this much more than I did writing it \\_(^_^)_/
> 
> ANYWAY, thanks so much for the read and I hope you leave a like and a comment bc I will respond to each and every one! I hope you had a great May the Fourth! 
> 
> Keep reading, keep dreaming,  
> Michie 🖤


End file.
